Figment Challenge 5: Dancing with Myself

Boring day.

I can't wait to go back to school! I'm getting all of my books for English class, and they all look so readable! ; )

I made dinner for the family. Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo with garlic and parsley bread and broccoli. I've had the urge to cook for the past few weeks - maybe because I've been watching the Food Network so much! Good thing I can't get fat by looking at all of the yummy food they make on the channel...

I wrote another piece for the Figment challenge. It's short and sweet. I posted another long story really early in the morning (oh yeah, double post!). I had so much fun writing it...and thanks for Marie for reading it and giving me a few edits. I should probably go and edit it myself, but I kind of want to let it set for awhile, and then put my finishing touches on it :)

Here's the comedy piece:

It's called "Dancing with Myself."

Dance break: Narrate a character’s thoughts while he or she is in the midst of some serious dancing. (The character can be the most reluctant hoofer ever or Balanchine himself, but in this moment, this guy is getting down.)

My favorite move is the Sprinkler. It's an art form, but people don't know that, because it's never done the right way. If the Sprinkler is done just right, it's like magic. How do I know this? Well, when I do the Sprinkler, people always stop dancing and stare at me in complete awe.

Like now.

As I dance in the center spotlight of Nolan's Bar, there is a couple next to me, grinding. Their rhythm is very off--after all, how can you grind to Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA?" One: it's disturbing. Two: It's disturbing that they are dancing so provocatively to the same song that tweens so enthusiastically sing.

The girl, a tall, long-legged brunette, catches my eye. I see her under the dim light, and we definitely have a connection. Yeah, I know she should be grinding on me. Yeah, I know she wants me. But I'm sorry to disappoint. Dancing is my thing. I don't need any partner but the beat. We've had a thing going on for years.

I suddenly jump up and dive back down, going for that one legged split I know I could pull off. I've been practicing on Friday and Saturday nights. My previous girlfriends girlfriend always liked the move too. But once I land, I hear the unmistakable sound of fabric ripping.

Everyone gasps. The DJ stops playing.

I feel a light draft near my bottom, which I didn't feel before....

"Oh shit."